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Fuck you, nu-metal. Fuck you, "modern rock." We're taking it back to when A&R agents got paid to watch David Yow knot up his weiner and I didn't know what a titty felt like.

Mariah Carey: “Fantasy (ODB Remix)”

Posting this isn’t even fair. Mariah Carey’s back in everyone’s good graces after the last couple of records (N.b.: The-Dream wrote “Touch My Body.” HOW MUCH SENSE DOES THAT MAKE); ODB straight kills everything including the intro where he either sounds like he just woke up or like he’s trying to fall asleep; the Tom Tom Club sample is so choice it still sounds like a new good idea. Even the window dressing is incredible: The call-and-response of “What you gonna do when you get out of jail?/I’m gone do a remix” makes me laugh basically every time I hear it. (Is there anybody who likes remixes that much? He’s not even going to stop at home to see his friends first?) Throw whatever you’re doing in the garbage and go outside and play this as loud as you can. Welcome to spring.

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