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Fuck you, nu-metal. Fuck you, "modern rock." We're taking it back to when A&R agents got paid to watch David Yow knot up his weiner and I didn't know what a titty felt like.

Bel Biv Devoe: “Poison”

This is what it was about. There was a time when, if you were a guy of a certain age, this was what you aspired to be. Surrounded by beautiful women, hanging out with your friends. Dressed in clothing made from the same fabric they used to make your grandmother’s drapes, wearing gold jewelry considered modest by today’s standards, dancing in front of a green screen and/or a street with a fog machine and/or some club where apparently nobody but you, your homies, your backup dancers, and girls go.

This was one of the original pimp anthems.  Even when you play this song today at parties, you can see it in the guys’ eyes. They know what Bel Biv Devoe was saying. This song is about being the man and not trusting no woman, no matter how much you miss her, kiss her, love her…. that girl is poison. Silly, misguided, paranoid and misogynistic? Probably. But also a cautionary tale that must be heeded. 

Let the advice of Bel Biv Devoe ring true for the ages: Never trust a big butt and a smile. 

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